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A very old folktale from Longford tells of the two farmers who were in earnest discussion on the comparative usefulness of the sun and the moon. Translated loosely from the Irish, their conversation went as follows: Sure, and the sun is more useful, said one. It gives a stronger light. Yes, but the moon is more sensible, argued the other. Sensible? How so? Put your mind to it mana, and you'll agree with me. The sun comes out in broad daylight when even a one-eyed man can see without it. But the moon - ah - the moon shines at night when we really need it!

Political opponents of John F. Kennedy often said that his father was financing his son's political campaign. John always took the barbs with good humor. At a press conference, the future president quipped: "I have today received this telegram from my generous father: "Dear Jack, don't buy a single vote than is absolutely necessary. I'll be d*** if I'm going to pay for a landslide!"

Al Smith
may the good Lord give him an extra set of wings - was holding forth at a press conference, when Westbrook Pegler, the acid-tongued columnist, called out" "Tell us all you know, Al - it won't take but a minute." "I'll do better than that," retorted Al. "I'll tell all we both know, and it won't take a second longer!"

Richard Brinsley Sheridan was strolling along St. James Street one day when he happened to meet two scions of nobility. "I say, Sherry," commented one of them, "we have just been discussing which you were - a knave or a fool. What is your opinion?" Sheridan took each of them by the arm and replied: "You might say I am between the two!"

Brendan Behan told the story of how he got a job in London with a street repair gang. The first job he went to they were down in a hole singing Happy Birthday around the foreman. "Is it the foreman's birthday?" asked Brendan. "No, Brendan. It's the third anniversary of the hole."

Julio Iglesias was being interviewed by British TV host Anne Diamond when he used the word 'manyana'. Diamond asked him to explain what it meant. He said that the term means "maybe the job will be done to-morrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week, next month, next year. Who cares?" The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who was also on the show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in Irish. "No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree of urgency", replied Brennan.

This is a true story of the late Irish author Brendan Behan who one night collapsed in a diabetic coma in a Dublin street. It was at a time when he was at the height of his drunken notoriety and passers-by naturally thought he was dead drunk. They took him to the nearby surgery of one of Dublin's most fashionable and respected doctors. The doctor decided to take a cardiograph and, somewhat nervous of his patient, thought to humor him. He explained the workings of the cardiograph needle as it registered the faint heartbeats of the very sick and semiconscious Brendan."That needle there is writing down your pulses, Mr. Behan, and I suppose, in its own way, it is probably the most important thing you have ever written." To which Behan replied: "Aye, and it's straight from me heart, too."

A young girl came to the late Father Healy of Cork, and sadly made her confession: "Father, I fear I've committed the sin of vanity," she announced. "What makes you think that?" asked her father-confessor. "Because every morning, when I look in the mirror, I cannot help but think how beautiful I am." "Never fear, colleen," was the reassuring reply. "That isn't a sin; it's only a mistake."

"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."

"This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."

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