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humor:
Oscar Wilde
The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is unread.

W.B. Yeats
Being Irish, I have an abiding sense of tragedy which sustains me through temporary periods of joy.

Spike Milligan
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Samuel Beckett
What do I know of man's destiny? I could tell you more about radishes.

Michael Moran
O long life to the man who invented potheen -
Sure the Pope ought to make him a martyr -
If myself was this moment Victoria, the Queen,
I'd drink nothing but whiskey and wather.
From In Praise of Potheen by

Sean O'Casey
All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

Hugh Leonard
An Irishman will always soften bad news. so that a major coronary is no more than a 'bad turn' and a near-hurricane that leaves thousands homeless is 'good drying weather.'
Notes: From Rover and Other cats

Frank McCourt
Ins't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas.
Notes: From Angela's Ashes

Oscar Wilde
To make a good salad is to be a brilliant diplomatist but the problem is entirely the same in both cases. To know exactly how much oil one must put with one's vinegar.

Oscar Wilde
I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.

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