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humor:
P. J. O'Rourke
There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks in them.

Oscar Wilde
I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed.

Flann O'Brien
Mr Patrick Kavanagh was recently reported as having declared that ?¨there is no such thing as Gaelic literature?Ć. This is hard luck on the institute of Advanced Studies, who are supposed to be looking into the thing. I attended the Book Fair in the Mansion House the other evening in the hope of overhearing other similar pronouncements from the writing persons who infest such a place. I heard plenty, and have recorded it in my note-books under ?¨Stuff To Be Used If Certain People Put Their Heads Out?Ć.
Notes: from The Best of Myles

Richard Harris
I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you.

James Stephens
Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
Notes: ?´The Crock of Gold??

David Lloyd George
Mr. de Valera has been talking non-stop since eight o'clock this morning, filling me in on the background to the Irish fight for freedom. And after eight hours and sixteen minutes he hasn't even reached the Norman invasion of Ireland yet.

George Bernard Shaw
The fickleness of the women I love is only equaled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

P. J. O'Rourke
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do.

Oliver Goldsmith
You, that are going to be married, think things can never be done too fast: but we that are old, and know what we are about, must elope methodically, madam.

Samuel Beckett
There's man all over for you, blaming on his boots the fault of his feet.

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