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George Bernard Shaw
He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

Then there's the Irishman on the construction site who was asked if he knows the difference between a joist and a girder. "Well, sure anyone would know that" he replies.
Notes: Joist wrote Ulysses and Girder wrote Faust.

Jonathan Swift
Tis an old maxim in the schools, that flattery's the food of fools; yet now and then your men of wit will condescend to take a bit.

Oscar Wilde
The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance.

George Bernard Shaw
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.

She was like a cat on a scissors.
Notes: From out of the mouth of a nun in Ballyragget, Kilkenny when describing a woman in high heels:

Richard Brinsley Sheridan
He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts.
Notes: in honour of his birthday October 30

Oscar Wilde
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Oscar Wilde
Bernard Shaw is an excellent man; he has not an enemy in the world, and none of his friends like him.

Penny R.
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch.

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