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Quotes Proverbs Holidays Blessings
Factoids Toasts Wit and Humor Anecdotes

Spike Milligan
"I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form."
Notes: on seeking permissiont to celebrate his 80th birthday with a 12,000 foot skydive.

Oscar Wilde
"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
Notes: from An Ideal Husband, 1895

Inch, 1 mile.
Notes: A particular favorite for theft is the road sign to one Co. Kerry village that reads

George Bernard Shaw
To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

George Bernard Shaw
Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled

Oscar Wilde
I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement.

Oscar Wilde
She who hesitates is won.

P.J. O'Rourke
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

George Bernard Shaw
Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.

Oscar Wilde
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people.

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