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It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times.
Notes: Excerpted from an Irish mother's letter to her son

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick.
Notes: Samuel Beckett

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p -do it your self.
Notes: Sign on a farm-house gate:

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges.
Notes: Sign on an Irish gate:

Curran said to Father O'Leary, the wittiest priest of his day, "I wish you were St. Peter." "Why?" asked O'Leary. "Because," said Curran, "you would have the keys of heaven, and could let me in." "It would be better for you," said O'Leary, "that I had the keys of the other place, for then I could let you out."
Notes: From W.R. LeFanu's "70 Years of Irish Life," 1896

Why, Mr. Speaker," Sir Boyle asked, "should we do anything for posterity? What has posterity done for us?"
Notes: Sir Boyle Roche MP was the Member for Tralee, County Kerry, in the Irish House of Commons in the latter part of the 18th century. His response to another member's appeal for some measure because it would benefit posterity? "Why,

Spike Milligan was asked if anything was worn under the kilt. Always quick with a comeback, Spike responded "No, it's all in perfect working order."

Oscar Wilde
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

Brendan Behan
New York is my Lourdes where I go for spiritual refreshment...a place where you are least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.

Thomas Francis McGuire
"All money is tainted, tain't none of it mine."

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